There is one primary reason I hear when I ask “why solo travellers are not allowed a room in the traditional dharamshalas?” That is: “they might commit suicide“

Yes. I am serious.

They might commit suicide.

Like people never travel alone. The only ones who do are frustrated souls. And most likely if we give them a room of their own, they would commit suicide!

It is actually so funny. If it didn’t cause a little bit of difficulty for me – I would have laughed it off.

Solo Folk Can Stay in Dorms

This ONLY applies to room stay. A lot of these traditional dharamshalas do have dorms – usually separate men and women dorms. Solo pilgrims would be accommodated in these.

However, during off season, when the number of pilgrims are less. These dorms are often empty and derelict types. Moreover, they may allow “families” to stay in the same dorm. So, while it may be OK for the solo male pilgrim. But for the solo female pilgrim, this is usually NOT viable.

In fact, during off season when we get the temples and powerful spots to ourselves, we have this problem of not being able to stay in the traditional dharamshalas.

Thankfully, hotels and homestays are very common in most large pilgrimage destinations. So, the solo pilgrim can stay in those. Obviously, it then becomes costly. Though, a lot of us can afford that now. What I do miss is the ambiance of the traditional dharamshala stay – it has some homeliness and warmth, which not all hotel types can provide. Not to mention the adjoining temple/samadhi place which exudes its own spiritual energy.

What I am pondering on in this blog post, is WHY? Why aren’t solo folk allowed by these establishments?

Maybe this trend of financially well-off solo travellers and pilgrims is new for India? Maybe even a decade back, the transport situation wasn’t considered that safe. We barely ever took flights. It was mostly trains or buses. Maybe the safety quotient was lower and so people usually didn’t travel solo?

I am not sure. Because as per records of my solo women foreigner friends who travelled across India in the 1980s – the country was way more safer then.

So, why would traditional dharamshalas not spare a small room for solo folk?

Shouldn’t SOLO be ENCOURAGED in Religious & Spiritual Places?

To promote solitude. To promote mental health. To promote Mauna or Silence. To promote being happy and satisfied with your own self. To promote self reflection. To solidify the understanding that you born alive, you will die alone – what better way to understand this than to spend some time ALONE, that too in spiritually powerful places.

Thus, I can only attribute the lack of solo infrastructure in (trad) religious places to the lower levels of safety during the past 1000 or so years. And before that, the world was different. Religious practices like yagnas would require husband and wife together. So, typically people may not travel solo except for specific tasks like business or something. Maybe because they have set duties related to business and family. Attending a religious pooja might require other family folk.

Is this making sense, or am I rambling? Maybe the time before 1000 years is too far out for me to imagine.

Either case, coming back to the current times – traditional dharamshalas STILL don’t allow rooms for solo folk! It is a problem, they need to look at. What is the thinking that is prompting such rules need to be looked at because we are fast (very fast) moving to a space where people from ALL walks of life are going to want to travel alone.

People in marriages, the many single youth, divorced folks – the numbers are just increasing – they want to spend some quiet time alone. And if the trad dharamshalas don’t cater to them. Then other MODERN ashrams are available to cater to them. Much thanks to them!

Any of these new age establishments like Isha Yoga Center, Ramanasramam (not that new!), Srimad Rajchandra Mission, Auroville (not that new), Dada Bhagwan Foundation & many more don’t discriminate against solo folk!

One great help to strengthen the solo travel infrastructure are the many foreigner solo travellers that have walked this land. They bring about a newer thinking, they normalize solo travel and they bring in money! Hopefully, travel establishments – religious & others – will realize the economic power & genuine need of the solo traveler.

Hopefully, archaic rules will change. Or the newer establishments will replace the obsolete old. Either case is fine for me. As long as I get a good place to stay in spiritually powerful places 🙂

I am maintaining a list of spiritually inclined places to stay – many of which are totally solo-traveller friendly. In order to get access, please sign up for my emails in the email sign up form below. Thanks.

And if you have any recommendations, please send it my way!